Like A Willow
by WhisperedInTheSoundofSilence
Summary: Fayne Lavellan finds out that her clan didn't survive the darkspawn attack, despite her preventative measures. Set before the end of the game (Trespasser DLC), and before the quest, "What Pride Had Wrought." Set before my other fic "Through The Looking Glass." (Angst/Hurt/Comfort Solas x Lavellan)
1. Fire and Ice

Warning: Dragon Age: Inquisition spoilers!

Rated T for language/concepts.

 **-Chapter One-**

 **Fire and Ice**

Fayne gripped the paper in her hands, closing her eyes. It couldn't be. They couldn't be...

"Inquisitor...I'm so sorry." Josephine said, as they all looked at her. It had been her fault. She had let the light of the darkspawn onto her clan. And, as a result, despite her sending her forces there, they had been destroyed. She gripped the paper harder, it beginning to smolder at the tips. She didn't have her staff, but it didn't matter. The paper burst into flame, and fell to the floor, as she turned her heel, and wordlessly left the paper to burn to ash upon the carpet. There would be a mark. She didn't much care.

She walked through the hall, her eyes beginning to burn as the tears started to well up, making her all but blind as she walked by memory through Josephine's chamber, and through the door past the judgement chair. All her judgement hadn't been good enough to help her family. It all felt meaningless.

"Your worship..."

"I'm not anything worshipful." She said sharply, as she brushed unseeingly past the guard. It was rude, and she knew that she would have to make amends later, but she was in such a state of loss. Her entire family...darkspawn food. A few ashes from the paper fluttered to the floor, as she turned sharply to the left, and opened the door to the place she designated as her 'own.'

She immediately almost ran into the banister, as she gripped it, tears beginning to flow now that she was alone. Her shoulder length brown hair obscured her face, as she leaned over the banister, and covered her face in her hands, letting out a soft, muffled sob. She remembered the place in which she left her clan to travel to the Temple of Sacred Ashes. She remembered her friend, Tallen playing tag with her during their childhood. She remembered her parents, her brother, and The Keeper. The Keeper had just found out that another mage had been born, so had sent her out into the world to observe. Observe the talks at the Temple.

"Fuck the temple. Fuck Andraste, and fuck the Maker. Fuck all of this Andrastianism bullshit!" She said with growing loudness down onto the empty hall below, leaning on the railing with her elbows. "Fuck the darkspawn, and fuck Corypheus!"

She stood back up, and squeezed the railing, feeling an icy cold flow through her to her hands. The railing became cold, with a heavy frost enveloping it.

"...I didn't know that you knew frost magic." A quiet voice said behind her.

She froze, startled, before wiping her eyes quickly. "...I don't..." She said, bowing her head. "...normally. It just...came out." She said, her voice strong, but wavering on the ends, like a thread that was threatening to snap.

She felt his presence move to the side of her, her face flushing. She had not intended for him to see her like this, of all people. She needed to remain strong for everyone, it was best to hide her sorrow in the shadows. She allowed her hair to further hide her face, as if she was still studying the hallway below.

He didn't touch her, but he stood close, observing the frost that clung to the wooden railing. "It appears you have discovered a new talent within yourself." He said, his words careful, and light, as he ran a hand over the thick frost delicately, before his grey blue eyes moved from it, and looked into hers. "Vhenan..."

She felt her heart leap into her throat as her green eyes looked into his slowly, before looking away and swallowing. "They...they're gone. My whole clan...I couldn't save them." She willed her eyes to still the tears that had threatened to fall again, before gritting her teeth. "All the power of the Inquisition...and I couldn't save my family." She said with anger, before letting out a breath.

He gently drew her into a hug, as she wrapped her arms around his middle loosely, resting her head on his shoulder.

He held her quietly, as she began to gently sob into his shoulder. This alone had had the power to reduce her to such a state, though the glitter in her eyes had not dimmed, even when he had looked into them just a moment before. She would weather this, just as she had weathered things previous, like a tree bending with the wind, but not breaking. She was strong. 


	2. Ember Tea

She was sitting near a fire, watching the glow of the embers flickering gently in the night sky, her eyes glowing softly in reflection of them, like a cat's. The Keeper, Deshanna was there, and so was her friends, and family. All had vallaslins of different types. Tallen came over, and smiled, sitting next to her, Mythal's vallaslin etched in a light blue across her cheeks.

Tallen moved her lips as if to say something. Something funny based on her gestures, though no sound came from her lips. The only sound that Fayne heard was the crackling of the fire in front of her. She looked at Tallen, as if she was trying to read her lips, but failed, as elvhen had always been particularly difficult to read lips from.

Suddenly there was a storm, everything being covered in a blow of grey dust. The dust settled upon Tallen, as she was smiling at her, and, as it coated her, it formed into her skin, before a great wind took off, and everyone except for Fayne disintegrated into ash. The particles of her clan blew around her in the wind, the fire also blowing out, leaving everything appearing as a grey haze.

Silence, then the sound of a rift opening, before the sound of crackling fire.

Then, sudden, voidlike darkness.  
-

She woke up with a start, the anchor burning, much like how it does when she was near a rift. She swallowed, her eyes opening, as she viewed the ceiling of her bedroom cast in the pale light of pre-dawn. It still felt odd to have so much ceiling between her and the sky, though the vaulted ceilings helped.

She rolled over, smelling the various animal pelts that made her bed warm, the the dying embers of the fire softly smoldering in the hearth with a crackle. That must've been reflected in her dreams. She covered herself up further, and breathed in the softly cool air, closing her eyes again.

A few seconds later, she opened her eyes again. She was wide awake. Damn.

She hauled herself out of bed, her feet hitting the floor, as she made her way towards the fire, her white night gown almost skimming the floor. She stoked the fire, and threw another log upon it, the warmth quickling growing within the room, despite the great glass doors on either side of the hearth. She rubbed her eyes, and hovered a little tea kettle over the fire, beginning the process of making some strong black tea.

She replayed the images of her time in the Fade while going to her wardrobe, and getting dressed. Slacks, a shirt, red, white. It was sufficient. She supposed that the ashes were-

"...some kind of representation of the darkspawn. But why were they grey, though?" Fayne asked Solas, as she sipped her tea. He was the only one that seemed to be inexplicably awake this early in the morning, but he always went to bed early, it seemed. Perhaps something to do with maximizing his time in the Fade?

He drank some water, mirroring her action. "I'm not sure. Did you see anything else there?"

"Only fire, and...my clan, being blown away after they were covered in the grey dust."

"That speaks of how you view your clan's passing, vhenan. You see them as an amorphus dust, though you alone remain."

She looks into his eyes, then back to her cup, looking within it's inky depths. "Yes. I feel that."

"After breakfast, do you wish to take a walk? The morning is breaking more fully now."

Fayne nods, and takes a big gulp of her tea, the steam rising in the cool air. "Yes, and I would also like to light some things on fire."

Solas chuckled a bit. "Perhaps we could arrange to do that as well."  



	3. Rift Ache

Chapter 3

They made nary a sound as they walked through the high grass in the Hinterlands. Fayne had her Dalish training and Solas had his...well, wherever he had came from. She still didn't know, though he carried himself as if he was one of her people. Apparently he had been in the Fade most of his life, though, from the way he talked.

Still, he was good with magic, so he was invaluable as an ally out on the field. He seemed to weild it as if it was completely a natural talent, instead of being taught. She still had to be careful of catching the stray energies out on the field, as her Keeper taught her.

It felt better to be out in Nature after the tragedy. She watched a nug scamper away from them as they walked.

"You know, in one of my journies in the fade, I saw a huge nug, the size of a horse in the deep roads. The dwarves all gathered around it, slaughtered it, and feasted for many days."

Fayne looked back at Solas and smirked a little. "Interesting. I read that the dwarves eat nugs quite a bit. It's something of a delicacy, I understand?"

He nodded, "Yes, though this was merely the echo of feelings that other races had about them. They are, unfortunately, cut off from the Fade."

"Dwarves can't do magic, though I wonder how they would've translated the Circles into their own culture?"

"We may never know."

Fayne suddenly felt the mark tingle, and burst to life. Solas looked down at the glowing green mark on her hand. "So...ready to set things on fire?"

"Can we do it by ourselves?"

He smiled at her, "I think so."

Several hours later, Fayne collapses on the ground to her knees in exhaustion, and raises her hand, feeling the anchor tingle as she makes a powerful gesture closing the rift. She was covered in sweat, though her mind felt clear. The anchor fizzled and became just a small line on her hand once more as Solas walked towards her slowly.

"Are you alright?"

"I'm fine..." She watched as he sat down next to her. He also appeared exhausted, but, somewhat less so. She thought back towards the battle, and scowled with realization. "You let me do most of the work!" She lightly, and weakly placed a hand on his shoulder, and pushed like she was trying to shove him, but playfully.

He smirked, and placed a hand over hers. "I knew you needed it, vhenan." He said softly, before softly placing a kiss on her palm, gently letting it go.

She blushed a little, looking into his eyes, before looking away. There was a silence, as she viewed the area where the rift was. All that was left of it was a bit of a charge to the energy around, but everything was still. "I do feel...clearer." She breathed...there was a faint smell of ozone that was quickly disapating. She felt the silence settle over her. "..how did you know?"

He smiled sadly, before looking away, and taking a breath, "I've felt loss before...expending energy on your enemy...it helps clear the anger and grief, at least temporarily." His voice was soft.

She remembered his friend from the Fade, how he had obliterated the mages for their foolishness. His anger had been white hot then, and it had exploded on the mages. Like a scalpel. An anger scalpel. She nodded. "I remember." She said softly, before placing a hand on his cheek. It was warm as a twinge of color illuminated his usually pale skin. He gazed into her green eyes, and leaned forward gently brushing his lips against hers. "Ar ame vhenan*." He said slowly, looking into her eyes before kissing her again, cradling the back of her head with his hand.

She blushed, "I know," She gently kissed his nose, smelling the light scent of patchouli and parchment as she drew a bit closer, hugging him. She was about as hesitant about overt touch as he was, but right now she needed closeness. He seemed to sense this, as he wrapped his arms around her, letting her lay her head on his shoulder. He felt a fresh flow of tears began to stain his tunic, but he didn's say anything, just holding her, knowing it would pass.

After a bit, when her tears had ceased, he patted her back, "How do you feel about eating at Redcliffe?"

She nodded, "Okay. It isn't far."

*I'm here for you, my heart. 


End file.
